Austin Powers Quotes

Let me ask you a question, and be honest. (activates a spinning bed) Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah!. Austin Powers.

Jimi Hendrix: Deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin: Deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass: Deceased, ham sandwich. Austin Powers

Austin: So, Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and look at my frozen self. But, if I’m still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the ’90s and traveled back to the ’60s?
(goes cross-eyed) Austin: Oh, no, I’ve gone cross-eyed. Austin Powers

Vanessa, I can explain. See, what happened was, I broke in trying to get to Dr. Evil, and then, all of a sudden, the Fembots came by, and smoke started to come out of their jubilees. So I thought I’d work my mojo, right? To counter their mojo. We got cross-mojo-nations, and their heads started exploding. You know, that thing. And I ended up in my knickers here, and– (exhales) Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it’s gone back down below. Austin Powers

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe, with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It’s breathtaking. I suggest you try it. Austin Powers

Gentlemen, it’s come to my attention that a breakaway Russian republic, Kreplachistan, is about to transfer a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here’s the plan. We get the warhead, and we hold the world ransom for… $1,000,000. Austin Powers

She’s the village bicycle! Everybody’s had a ride

Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It’s called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
Number Two: Prince Charles *did* have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.

Austin Powers

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It’s long, hard and full of seamen!

Goldmember: I am from Holland. Isn’t that vierd? Yesh!. Austin Powers

Mini-Me: [writes] Are you a clone of an angel?

Foxxy Cleopatra: Ohhh how sweet. No, my mini-man, I’m not.

Mini-Me: [writes] Are you sure you don’t have a little clone in you?

Foxxy Cleopatra: Yes I’m sure.
Mini-Me: [writes] Would you like to?

Dr. Evil: Alright, let me find my balls, for God’s sakes! 1, 2, and 3, okay. I’m okay.

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